In July, the O Haus moved down to Orlando, Florida. It was not the easiest transition, but we knew that God was in the midst of our circumstances. We are now 8 months into our time here, and the winds have shifted. While it was chaotic and emotional in the beginning, we now feel like we are getting settled and God is providing us with a community and more peace. We are even in the process of buying a house!!!
Evan
One of the main reasons that we moved from Virginia was for Evan. He finished up a Master's degree from Virginia Tech in Instructional Design, and in January of last year he began his search for something in this industry. Lo and behold, Orlando is a major hub for the type of work Evan does. He is working for a government contractor designing instruction for Naval battleships. He is thoroughly enjoying his job, loving the change of pace, and the creative challenges of his job.
Jackie
I have returned to teaching 5th grade. The school where I teach is nestled in a community and has some of the hardest working and supportive teachers I have ever encountered. It's been a tough adjustment from teaching in Virginia with all the differences in standards and testing. I regularly struggle with balancing motherhood and working and if this the career for me long term. However, I am trusting that God is using me where I am right now and so I will keep trucking.
Liv
Liv is an adorable package of joy and energy. She is walking, running, climbing, chattering, and bringing smiles to everyone around her. We regularly hear, "She is so happy!" She has been smiling since 6 weeks and pretty much hasn't stopped since.
Enzo
Enzo is adjusting to the role as big brother. He is enjoying Liv's new found ability to throw the ball for him.
Adoption
Since we have been in the process of adoption (July 2012), the wait time has increased 3 times. We are now in the midst of a 36-48 month wait from DTE (the date went sent our Dossier to Ethiopia- March 1, 2013). As of right now that means the soonest we would receive a referral is March 1, 2016 and the latest is March 1, 2017. HOWEVER, wait times are showing a trend of increasing so the wait time is likely longer. It's been hard to continue waiting. It seems like the pregnancy that will not end sometimes. We are trying to find the balance of expectancy while still living in the present. We will be working on some fundraisers in the near future to keep up with the financial demands.
Showing posts with label Home Study. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Home Study. Show all posts
Friday, February 13, 2015
Monday, December 3, 2012
An update- where are we now?
Well it's been a while. So, let me give you a bit of an update. We have finalized our Home Study, and we had it written that we are requesting one child 0-2 years either boy or girl. However, we had it also written in the Home Study that were are approved for 2 children 0-2 years. What is the difference? If there comes an opportunity and a need for a home for two children under two, we are approved to take them, but at this point it is not our formal request.
Since we received our final Home Study, we mailed off one copy to USCIS to get our federal fingerprints. These result in the last piece of paper work that needs to go in our Dossier. Although that sounds simple enough, getting the fingerprinting appointment and resulting clearance letter from the Federal government can take 2 months. SO, please pray that it goes faster!
We also found out to day that the murmurings of a longer wait time, is confirmed. Rather than the original projection of 18-24 months wait time (after Dossier submission), we are looking at 24-30 months. Even though I knew it was coming, why do I still feel so down? It's difficult staying encouraged during this time.
What I do know however, is that we have raised enough funds to cover Dossier submission and program fees. We will amp up the fundraising efforts again as it nears our travel time......2 and a half years from now. Thank you all for your continued prayer and support.
Since we received our final Home Study, we mailed off one copy to USCIS to get our federal fingerprints. These result in the last piece of paper work that needs to go in our Dossier. Although that sounds simple enough, getting the fingerprinting appointment and resulting clearance letter from the Federal government can take 2 months. SO, please pray that it goes faster!
We also found out to day that the murmurings of a longer wait time, is confirmed. Rather than the original projection of 18-24 months wait time (after Dossier submission), we are looking at 24-30 months. Even though I knew it was coming, why do I still feel so down? It's difficult staying encouraged during this time.
What I do know however, is that we have raised enough funds to cover Dossier submission and program fees. We will amp up the fundraising efforts again as it nears our travel time......2 and a half years from now. Thank you all for your continued prayer and support.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Having a tough time....
It's inevitable that there will be times of discouragement, and I am in one. There have been several sad events in the lives of those around us that have intensified my discouraged state.
We are currently in the paper chase. All of our paper work is in and we are simply waiting for the approval and a phone call from our social worker. I have trouble with this waiting, and I think my discouragement comes from knowing that the waiting I'm experiencing now is only the tip of the iceberg.
The reality of my wait time is sinking in - 18-24 months......once I submit the Dossier. However, it's looking like wait times are increasing and so 24 months to referral can be more like 30 months. Keep in mind that is not even to bring our child home; that is just to the referral. Add about 4 months from referral to bringing the child home.
I hate to be a real downer, but this space is here to share the ups and the downs. Please pray that God comforts and encourages us during this time.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Wisdom from our orientation
First of all, the AWAA office is beautiful. It's warm, inviting, and we immediately felt more at ease upon entering. I teared up when passing the cubicals (prettiest cubicals I've ever seen) because there were groupings of pictures of adopted children pinned to the wall. I look forward to sending such a picture to our family coordinator in the future.
Our orientation was splits into 3 sessions- home study tips, trans-racial parenting and attachment, and discipline and behavior.
Home Study tips
We learned that our orientation counts as our first of 3 (possibly 4) home study visits, and that our social worker should contact us shortly to set up our appointments since we have handed in all of our paperwork (pray it's soon!). One visit will be both Evan & I together and the 2nd one will be each of us separately. After the visits are done, our social worker will write up the Home Study. This is the big piece that goes in the Dossier and enables us to get necessary paperwork from US immigration.
We also learned about re-adoption. Re-adoption is not mandatory for Ethiopia, but it good to do because: you can legally change your child's name, get a U.S. birth certificate and U.S. passport. In Ethiopia the child is named with their Ethiopian first name, adoptive father's first name and our last name....kind of funny for a girl.
Trans-racial parenting and attachment
This session was very helpful because it walked us through different scenarios and possible comments so that we can think through how we would respond graciously rather than out of defensiveness. This is going to be a toughy for me. For example: After adopting your child, someone asks "When will you have one of your own?" I realize that a person probably means "biological, " but saying "your own" implies that your adopted child is not your child. Can you imagine the little ears hearing that? Another scenario is when a family goes to the costume store for Halloween and their adopted child from China chooses a cowboy outfit and their Caucasian brother chooses a ninja costume. The person ringing them up says to the Chinese son, "Shouldn't you be the ninja?" Wow, I would really have to fight back a smart comment here. The recommendation was "It's Halloween, he can be whatever he wants."
As far as attachment goes, there were some great tips as to how to encourage healthy attachment including limiting visitors upon return. If you think about it, the child is used to a lot of people caring for them and so they need to learn who are the parents.
Scary term- RAD- reactive attachment disorder. While adopted children struggle with attachment to varying degrees, RAD is a very severe diagnosis. They are now starting to look at RAD on a spectrum (like autism) instead of a cut and dry diagnosis.
Discipline and behavior
What I learned and need my friends and family to know: parenting an adopted child is completely different. Tried and true parenting techniques (time outs, etc) often don't work with adopted kids because of living in an institution. Also, we signed an agreement not to use spanking, and will not be using that as method of discipline.
Also, for these children food is a big thing. We build trust and attachment by making sure they are fed on time and enough. A lot of adopted children have great anxiety about food because of their past experiences. The idea of waiting 10 minutes for food, is not the same for an adopted child because there is a lot of fear and trust tied up in it. A simple granola bar in hand can build trust that we will not let them go hungry.
All in all it was a great and informative meeting!!
Our orientation was splits into 3 sessions- home study tips, trans-racial parenting and attachment, and discipline and behavior.
Home Study tips
We learned that our orientation counts as our first of 3 (possibly 4) home study visits, and that our social worker should contact us shortly to set up our appointments since we have handed in all of our paperwork (pray it's soon!). One visit will be both Evan & I together and the 2nd one will be each of us separately. After the visits are done, our social worker will write up the Home Study. This is the big piece that goes in the Dossier and enables us to get necessary paperwork from US immigration.
We also learned about re-adoption. Re-adoption is not mandatory for Ethiopia, but it good to do because: you can legally change your child's name, get a U.S. birth certificate and U.S. passport. In Ethiopia the child is named with their Ethiopian first name, adoptive father's first name and our last name....kind of funny for a girl.
Trans-racial parenting and attachment
This session was very helpful because it walked us through different scenarios and possible comments so that we can think through how we would respond graciously rather than out of defensiveness. This is going to be a toughy for me. For example: After adopting your child, someone asks "When will you have one of your own?" I realize that a person probably means "biological, " but saying "your own" implies that your adopted child is not your child. Can you imagine the little ears hearing that? Another scenario is when a family goes to the costume store for Halloween and their adopted child from China chooses a cowboy outfit and their Caucasian brother chooses a ninja costume. The person ringing them up says to the Chinese son, "Shouldn't you be the ninja?" Wow, I would really have to fight back a smart comment here. The recommendation was "It's Halloween, he can be whatever he wants."
As far as attachment goes, there were some great tips as to how to encourage healthy attachment including limiting visitors upon return. If you think about it, the child is used to a lot of people caring for them and so they need to learn who are the parents.
Scary term- RAD- reactive attachment disorder. While adopted children struggle with attachment to varying degrees, RAD is a very severe diagnosis. They are now starting to look at RAD on a spectrum (like autism) instead of a cut and dry diagnosis.
Discipline and behavior
What I learned and need my friends and family to know: parenting an adopted child is completely different. Tried and true parenting techniques (time outs, etc) often don't work with adopted kids because of living in an institution. Also, we signed an agreement not to use spanking, and will not be using that as method of discipline.
Also, for these children food is a big thing. We build trust and attachment by making sure they are fed on time and enough. A lot of adopted children have great anxiety about food because of their past experiences. The idea of waiting 10 minutes for food, is not the same for an adopted child because there is a lot of fear and trust tied up in it. A simple granola bar in hand can build trust that we will not let them go hungry.
All in all it was a great and informative meeting!!
Monday, September 17, 2012
Home Study milestone!
This past weekend Evan and I went to our home study orientation in Mclean, VA. Since we live in Virgina, AWAA is our home study agency and our first "visit" was our orientation. At the meeting we handed in all of our home study documents. It was such a relief! We have been crazy busy collecting paper work over the past month. Evan and I both had an audible sigh of relief.
We met some other families that are pursing adopting older Ethiopian children a hosting program that AWAA started. There were some testimonials that were real tear jerkers! We also were blessed to have our friends Tom & Whitney there. They are also pursuing adoption of an older child. Check out their blog here http://www.relentlesslove-ouradoptionjourney.blogspot.com/. We had a great time connecting with them and enjoying some stress relieving laughs over lunch. What a blessing they are!
This week Evan & I decided to take a break from paper work (yes, there is still more for the Dossier), and for the first week in a long time, there is no to-do list on the fridge! I'll share more this week about some specific things we learned at our orientation.
Prayer requests:
-That this week we can enjoy some down time.
-For good attendance for our first fundraiser- our Poker Tournament on September 29th.
-That all of our Home Study paperwork is approved and we get matched with a social worker soon
We met some other families that are pursing adopting older Ethiopian children a hosting program that AWAA started. There were some testimonials that were real tear jerkers! We also were blessed to have our friends Tom & Whitney there. They are also pursuing adoption of an older child. Check out their blog here http://www.relentlesslove-ouradoptionjourney.blogspot.com/. We had a great time connecting with them and enjoying some stress relieving laughs over lunch. What a blessing they are!
This week Evan & I decided to take a break from paper work (yes, there is still more for the Dossier), and for the first week in a long time, there is no to-do list on the fridge! I'll share more this week about some specific things we learned at our orientation.
Prayer requests:
-That this week we can enjoy some down time.
-For good attendance for our first fundraiser- our Poker Tournament on September 29th.
-That all of our Home Study paperwork is approved and we get matched with a social worker soon
Thursday, August 23, 2012
A gift that God perfectly orchestrated
Evan and I are in the paper chase. We are getting tons of paperwork together for both our Home Study and Dossier. We knew that in a matter of days a big bill would come from our agency for our Home Study ($2,000) and post adoption deposit ($1,000). We need to pay this before we can complete the first Home Study which is an orientation in McLean, VA.
Every day Evan would come home and ask, any donations today? I'd tell him some support is trickling in, but God will show up and provide the $3,000. He may not be early, but He won't be late. And He did. I checked my email, and I saw Jason W's name in the inbox. Jason is in charge of AWAA's Eternal Family Program, where you can donate to the agency on our behalf. When I see his name, I get excited.
Then I saw it. A $3,000 gift. Exactly $3,000. Our supporter is not a millionare, a best friend, or a relative-just someone who loves God. A $3,000 gift days before we receive a bill for $3,000 is not a coincidence, it's a God-incidence.
Every day Evan would come home and ask, any donations today? I'd tell him some support is trickling in, but God will show up and provide the $3,000. He may not be early, but He won't be late. And He did. I checked my email, and I saw Jason W's name in the inbox. Jason is in charge of AWAA's Eternal Family Program, where you can donate to the agency on our behalf. When I see his name, I get excited.
Then I saw it. A $3,000 gift. Exactly $3,000. Our supporter is not a millionare, a best friend, or a relative-just someone who loves God. A $3,000 gift days before we receive a bill for $3,000 is not a coincidence, it's a God-incidence.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
It begins....
We are at an exciting and overwhelming stage in our adoption process. We have just been contacted by our family coordinator and social worker, and we must now begin getting things together for our home studies and Dossier. Evan was kind enough to print all of the directions out while I was visiting family and NJ, and I came home to 2 big stacks of paper. This is intimidating.
While Evan's school district is already under way, I still have 2 weeks before my teacher work days. I have a feeling that I won't be lounging around though. I have a lot of paper work to do.
Two years ago I worked on something called National Board Certification for teaching, and it was a busy and overwhelming year. I wrote and researched constantly, and when I sent in my portfolio in March of 2011, I felt both relief and fear over the results. It all ended up worth it when I found out that I passed. Why do I have a feeling that the Dossier will be the same? I have a feeling that National Boards prepared me for this.
Please pray for Evan and I as we start this daunting task!
While Evan's school district is already under way, I still have 2 weeks before my teacher work days. I have a feeling that I won't be lounging around though. I have a lot of paper work to do.
Two years ago I worked on something called National Board Certification for teaching, and it was a busy and overwhelming year. I wrote and researched constantly, and when I sent in my portfolio in March of 2011, I felt both relief and fear over the results. It all ended up worth it when I found out that I passed. Why do I have a feeling that the Dossier will be the same? I have a feeling that National Boards prepared me for this.
Please pray for Evan and I as we start this daunting task!
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